Isn’t it the best to expect one thing and get the other? Typically, no.
If you receive 10,000 dollars instead of 1,000 dollars, then yes! But if you expect somebody to behave one way and they do the complete opposite, then no.
This article will help you avoid this dilemma by learning about setting expectations and why you need to set them immediately.
Immediate and clear expectations will provide direction and clarity, enabling growth in your personal and professional life.
What Are Expectations?
Expectations are the strong belief that something will happen or be the case. More than anything else, our expectations determine our reality.1
Expectations act as a guide for future success and can be applied:
- Personally: expectations around personal health, finances, and achievement
- Romantically: expectations involving a significant other (behavior, communication, etc.)
- Professionally: expectations around a job’s duties and requirements
While these are just a few areas in which expectations present themselves, they allow you to see how they surround us daily.
People will always expect you to behave in specific ways, whether in a relationship or at work. Failure to reflect somebody’s expectations will lead to conflict and often taint the relationship.
Let’s take a look at a couple of scenarios:
Scenario 1
On Monday, you take on a project that needs completion as soon as possible. You receive a set of instructions that are vague and lacking detail.
When you turn in the project at the end of the week, you learn that the project was due on Wednesday. Additionally, you learn you didn’t follow the instructions well enough.
Due to this, your project gets trashed, and your reputation is now damaged.
Scenario 2
On Monday, you take on a project that needs to be completed by the end of the day on Wednesday. You receive clear instructions on what the project includes and what to focus on.
Since you received clear instructions, you turned in the project a day early on Tuesday. After turning in your project, you receive praise for the quality of your project and attention to detail.
Due to this, your project is highlighted amongst the others submitted, leading to your future success.
In both scenarios, expectations are present, but they are clear and impactful in scenario two, whereas they are vague in scenario one.
The expectations presented in scenario one led to a damaged reputation, whereas the ones presented in scenario two led to future success.
With expectations in mind, let’s learn the benefits of setting them.
Key Takeaways
Expectations are the strong belief that something will happen or be the case. More than anything else, our expectations determine our reality.2
Expectations act as a guide for future success and can be applied personally, romantically, and professionally.
People will always expect you to behave in specific ways, whether in a relationship or at work. Failure to reflect somebody’s expectations will lead to conflict and often taint the relationship.
Benefits of Setting Expectations
The benefits of setting expectations go far beyond what is in this article, but the few below help highlight why you need to set them immediately.
Improved Sense of Direction and Clarity
When you set expectations, you put a structure in place for certain behaviors to occur.
By putting structure in place, you will benefit from an improved sense of direction and clarity, whether within a relationship or job, as all parties know what to expect.
If you are to ignore setting them, you can’t expect somebody to behave a certain way as they will only behave in the ways which they are used to.
Increased Accountability
Expectations, when understood by all parties, help increase accountability as they are then known. When they are not known or clear, future accountability can result in conflict.
Since all parties know them, if somebody is not living up to their end of the bargain, it will help hold them accountable, as you can revert to the original conversation in which they were discussed.
Naturally, people hold themselves accountable by behaving in expected ways to fulfill the set expectations.
When people do not hold themselves accountable and fail to fulfill them, the expectation-setting party will benefit from increased accountability.
Better Results and Future Success
Let expectations serve as a guide for achieving better results and future success, whether in your personal or professional life.
You will achieve better results in the short term through the improved sense of direction, clarity, and accountability that they bring.
When positive short-term results continue to compound, it ultimately leads to future success.
Enjoy future success through the implementation of expectations.
Key Takeaways
When you set expectations, you put a structure in place for certain behaviors to occur.
Naturally, people hold themselves accountable by behaving in expected ways to fulfill the set expectations.
Let expectations serve as a guide for achieving better results and future success, whether in your personal or professional life.
How to Set Impactful Expectations
With everything we have reviewed, none matters if we don’t know how to set impactful expectations.
As we saw in the beginning scenarios, you can set expectations, but there is a difference between impactful and non-impactful expectations.
Clearly Define Expectations
It all starts with communication: clearly define expectations.
When setting expectations, it is crucial that you clearly define what you are expecting. You must lay them out in full from the start.
As touched on above, not clearly defining them leads to future confusion and conflict.
For example,
Somebody asks you to give them a ride at 6:15 PM but tells you to take your time as they are still busy.
When you arrive at 6:45 PM to pick them up, they are frustrated as they expected you to be there at 6:30 PM, at the latest.
In the above example, the person getting a ride should have clearly defined the expectation of being picked up by 6:30 PM instead of being vague and telling you 6:15 PM, but take your time.
Had they clearly defined their expectation, there would have been no frustration.
For future clarity on expectations, it can help to write them down or use some form of documentation.
By documenting them, it will help all parties involved remember what is expected if needed.
Ensure Understanding
When you clearly define the expectations, it is crucial to ensure understanding.
Although it is necessary to define expectations, it is equally important to confirm that all parties understand them.
A lack of understanding will lead you to expect one thing, whereas somebody else expects another.
You can avoid this by asking questions immediately after defining the expectations.
A few of these questions are:
- What am I expecting of you?
- What will you do if x happens?
- Do you fully understand what I am asking from you?
- Do you have any questions about the expectation(s)?
- Do you know why I am expecting this from you?
Probing and asking questions will help to ensure an understanding of expectations so that everybody is on the same page.
Hold All Parties Accountable
After expectations are defined and understood, you must hold all parties accountable.
Accountability will require you to hold both yourself and all parties involved accountable.
Without accountability, the expectations won’t impact future behavior as people will continue to exhibit the same behavior.
People don’t do what you expect but what you inspect.
Louis V. Gerstner, Jr.
While accountability can be difficult, it is best approached by showing the person being held accountable that you have their best interest in mind.
For example,
You have a defined expectation with somebody that they will quit a behavior because it leads to a bad outcome.
If they start engaging in the behavior again, you ask them why they are engaging in it. Additionally, you remind them that the behavior led to a bad outcome last time.
In the above example, had you not held the other person accountable when they engaged in the behavior, they would continue to engage in it until held accountable.
Reminding them of the past outcomes when they engaged in that behavior will help them realize why they agreed upon the expectations in the first place.
When setting expectations, failure from either side to hold themselves and each other accountable will ultimately lead to people falling short of them.
Key Takeaways
When setting expectations, it is crucial that you clearly define what you are expecting. You must lay them out in full from the start.
Although it is necessary to define expectations, it is equally important to confirm that all parties understand them.
Without accountability, the expectations won’t impact future behavior as people will continue to exhibit the same behavior.
Conclusion
The dilemma of expecting one thing and getting the other will frequently present itself in our lives.
While this is not always bad, learning about expectations and how to set them effectively will help shape our short-term results and future success.
Instead of leaving your life and the events within it up to chance, set expectations for yourself and others.
The final step? Live up to them.
–Your future self will thank you.
