Have you ever been told to read the room? Or maybe you can read a room and notice a sense of joy or angst?
If you can do the latter, congratulations! You can properly use your emotional intelligence.
The thing with both of the questions above is that they pertain to a person and their emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence matters as it allows you to master and deal with your emotions and the emotions of others.
It allows you to identify and work through your emotions, whether good or bad. It also allows you to do the same for others.
To better understand why emotional intelligence is important, we must first know what it is.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence, also referred to as emotional quotient (EQ), is the ability to identify, perceive, and manage your own emotions along with the emotions of others.
While intelligence is often referred to as an all-encompassing term, there are various forms of intelligence, with emotional intelligence being one of them.
A person may be intelligent mathematically, but that intelligence doesn’t reflect on their emotional intelligence as it is two completely different fields.
In the same way, that we use IQ to measure our intelligence quotient, your EQ is used to measure your emotional quotient.
For example, a test may ask you:
If you were to receive criticism from a friend, you would become angry with that friend.
The answer to this question ranges from strongly disagree to strongly agree.
If you were to strongly agree, then you would be viewed as having low emotional intelligence as you are unable to accept the criticism for what it is and rather allow the person to spark negative emotion within you.
If you strongly disagree, you would be viewed as having high emotional intelligence as you can accept the criticism for what it is and not let it affect you emotionally.
A few signs of people with low emotional intelligence are:
- Lack of self-awareness; unable to explain or know why they feel the way they do.
- Impulsive behavior; acting out in the moment and unable to control what they say or do.
- Difficulty coping with stress; becoming overwhelmed and unable to recover from setbacks.
A few signs of people with high emotional intelligence are:
- Self-aware; able to identify and know why they feel emotions.
- Empathetic; able to understand and feel emotions that other people are feeling.
- Strong social skills; build rapport, actively listen, and foster strong relationships.
If you find yourself showing signs of low emotional intelligence, no need to worry!
Emotional intelligence is a skill that is taught and learned with constant practice.
By identifying, perceiving, and questioning emotions, you will become more emotionally intelligent.
After reading, you might ask, why does being emotionally intelligent matter?
Key Takeaways
Emotional intelligence, also referred to as emotional quotient (EQ), is the ability to identify, perceive, and manage your own emotions along with the emotions of others.
Emotional intelligence is a skill that is taught and learned with constant practice.
By identifying, perceiving, and questioning emotions, you will become more emotionally intelligent.
The Importance of Being Emotionally Intelligent
Some may argue that being emotionally intelligent and having a high EQ is just as important, if not more important, than being knowledgeable and only having a high IQ.
When you work to improve your emotional intelligence, you are not only benefiting yourself but others who are involved in your life as well.
By becoming more emotionally intelligent, you understand yourself better, allowing you to understand others better.
As you start to understand yourself better, you will be able to form conclusions based on what emotions you are feeling.
You will start to know why a situation made you feel why you do.
You can question that situation and process the emotions involved healthily.
After processing the emotions, you can establish a framework of steps to take and how to manage your emotions in future identical situations.
Ultimately, this leads to developing a higher sense of self-awareness and being able to navigate yourself, and others, through similar situations.
As a leader, emotional intelligence is one of the most crucial abilities. The ability to understand and perceive your own emotions allows you to do the same unto others.
To make others function at a high-performance level, you must know how they feel and what makes them tick. By better understanding the emotions of others, it will help us to guide our behavior when interacting with them.
The graph below, which came from this YouTube video, helps to summarize both the personal and social benefits of having high emotional intelligence.
Keep in mind, that emotional intelligence isn’t about suppressing emotions. It is about recognizing and processing emotions that benefit you and any parties involved.
The question is, how do we increase our emotional intelligence?
Key Takeaways
When you work to improve your emotional intelligence, you are not only benefiting yourself but others that are involved in your life as well.
By becoming more emotionally intelligent, you understand yourself better, allowing you to understand others better.
Keep in mind, emotional intelligence isn’t about suppressing emotions. It is about recognizing and processing emotions that benefits you and any parties involved.
How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
A first, inevitable step in increasing your emotional intelligence is to get to know yourself.
Why are you the way you are? How do you feel about the way you are? What emotions do you feel daily?
These are all good questions to ask yourself to uncover deep-rooted emotions that you may be feeling.
Since mindfulness allows you to focus on what you are feeling, a surefire way to increase your emotional intelligence is meditation.
Paired with meditation, as soon as you feel any emotion that is hard to process, grab a journal or record yourself and start capturing whatever comes to mind.
In this process, ask others for feedback as well. They may be able to uncover blind spots and give you information about yourself based on what they see in you.
Additionally, to focus on the narrative and how you process emotions is crucial.
Think back to a situation that made you feel an emotion, whether it be joy, anger, sadness, etc.
What happened in that situation? How did you process the emotions involved? Was what happened in or out of your control?
By asking yourself these questions, you may realize that you, as a person, didn’t have much involvement in how the situation played out.
You must know deep down that not everything is about you. It will help to process emotion better as it helps answer why people act the way they do.
It’s not about you but about them.
You may also realize that you processed the emotions involved with the situation out of that; emotion.
If you went through a bad breakup and started drinking or doing drugs, you would be acting out of emotion.
Instead, by working on your emotional intelligence, you give yourself the ability to react to certain situations, such as a breakup, in a much healthier manner.
After learning about yourself, your emotions, how you process them, etc., you do the same with others to help them.
Key Takeaways
A first, inevitable step in increasing your emotional intelligence is to get to know yourself.
Since mindfulness allows you to focus on what you are feeling, a surefire way to increase your emotional intelligence is meditation.
After learning about yourself, your emotions, how you process them, etc., you do the same with others to help them.
Conclusion
You now know what emotional intelligence is, the importance of emotional intelligence, and how to increase your emotional intelligence.
Gone are the days of being a victim and letting your emotions get the best of you.
Instead, you have the knowledge and a roadmap to increase your emotional intelligence to master and deal with your emotions.
As we have mentioned, you will benefit not only yourself by increasing your emotional intelligence; but all the people around you.
–Your future self will thank you.