Building rapport is one of the best things to learn, but it can also be one of the most awkward things to do if you are still getting familiar with how to do it. When you can successfully build rapport, it will help in your personal and professional relationships.
In this article, we will review five important tips to help with building engaging rapport. By applying these tips, you will have an uptick in positive social interactions and more effective communication.
While building rapport may not always be wanted, such as talking to a stranger on an elevator, it will always be in our lives. Since it will always be in our lives, you must learn how to build rapport appropriately.
After reading this article, you will have five tips that you will be able to apply in your life to experience more success when communicating with people.
Let’s get into it.
1. Enter with Confidence
Whenever you are getting into a conversation, you must enter with confidence.
It is important to enter with confidence as people are judgemental and will develop opinions about you within the first few seconds of speaking with you. As soon as you talk, you get judged. Heck, you get judged whenever another person sees you.
When you are to enter the conversation with confidence, people will naturally gravitate towards you, as people like confidence.
Additionally, they will be curious about why you are so confident. Since they are curious, they will entertain the conversation and ask questions, which will help in organic and productive rapport-building.
If you do not have confidence, the other person(s) will view you as unconfident and treat you differently. They may be short with you, talk down to you, or simply not give you time.
One thing that is certain about rapport-building is that when somebody is short with you, it becomes difficult.
If you cannot be confident, apply a few of these other tips and fake it till you make it. Through repetition, you will become more confident.
2. Deviate From the Status Quo
As you build rapport, don’t be afraid to deviate from the status quo, as these people are the ones who tend to stick out and make conversations more enjoyable.
For example,
Somebody asks how your day is going. Instead of replying, “Good, how about yours?” reply with “Good, I did x, y, and z. How about yours?”
Since most people stick to the “status quo” and don’t say anything too personal, conversations with them or themselves as a person never seem to stick out from the rest. Expanding on what you say and making it personal helps bridge the divide between a pointless and a valuable interaction.
Now, this is not to say you must tell your whole life story to every person, but don’t be afraid to make conversations a touch more personal.
You will find rapport building much easier as you deviate from the status quo as it allows the other person(s) to be at ease and communicate naturally.
3. Match the Energy
As you build rapport, match the energy of whoever you communicate with. If the person you speak with is unhappy, you sound unhappy. If the person is happy, you are too.
Matching your energy with the person you are speaking with will help build familiarity throughout the conversation since the other person(s) will recognize that you can resonate with them.
If the person you speak with is unhappy, you won’t come into the conversation boasting happiness. If the person is happy, you won’t boast sadness.
This technique, the mirror-and-match technique, can also be applied to body language for maximum benefits.
Truthfully, nobody wants to talk to happy people when they are sad, and nobody wants to talk to sad people when they are happy.
By matching the energy, people will naturally feel more inclined to communicate with you and be receptive to what you say.
4. Build Off the Conversation
One of the top secrets to successful rapport-building is knowing how to build off the conversation. The process of building off the conversation is simple and has a substantial impact on the longevity and effectiveness of your conversations.
As you speak with somebody, there will be a push-pull in which each person will take turns talking. When you aren’t talking, practice active listening and highlight details of what they are saying.
If you are to listen closely, you will notice specific details stick out more than others. When you are to speak again, highlight those details and build off the conversation by asking questions about them.
When you are to do this, it will keep the conversation moving forward, as the other person(s) will be happy to go into further detail. If you fail to build off the conversation, take note of how quickly that conversation dies out.
5. Know the End
When building rapport, know the end. There will come a point where the rapport-building has reached a dead end, and you must know when that point is.
If you listen to a conversation, this is the point at which the business, or the real reason for the conversation, starts to occur. The conversation leading up to that is all rapport-building.
When you cannot distinguish between time for rapport building and time for business, there will be minimal value to come out of your conversations if all they consist of is rapport building.
Additionally, people will be less likely to take you seriously if you cannot switch from rapport-building to business.
Listen and pay attention to your next conversation and wait for when it switches from small talk to business. This point occurs in many conversations, and it’s crucial to identify when it occurs.
As this point occurs, know the end and make the switch.
Key Takeaways
As you build rapport, don’t be afraid to deviate from the status quo, as these people are the ones who tend to stick out and make conversations more enjoyable.
Matching your energy with the person you are speaking with will help build familiarity throughout the conversation since the other person(s) will recognize that you can resonate with them.
One of the top secrets to successful rapport-building is knowing how to build off the conversation. The process of building off the conversation is simple and has a substantial impact on the longevity and effectiveness of your conversations.
Conclusion
Although building rapport and small talk can be the death of many, it is something that every single person should know how to do.
Building rapport with another individual, especially upon meeting them for the first time, will help all involved get to know each other and have a productive conversation.
Going forward, focus on building rapport and watch your personal and professional relationships flourish.
–Your future self will thank you.
